Hi my cutie patooties!

So, recently (or two months ago), I had this idea for a story that revolved around the Pied Piper of Hamlin, and the children that disappeared. So, I'm going to sit down and write the introduction for it now, because I figured, better now than never, and because I'll never do it unless I force my self to sit down and write it. Enjoy! (This will suck, so get out the popcorn and be ready to laugh disdainfully, plus, give me sassy feedback!)

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Waking Up

She opened her eyes, feeling strangely old and new at the same time. She was in a cave, she thought, vague memories of the past slipping through her mind, as she tried to gather where she was and how she got here. Around her were a thousand stalctite, glittering like daggers from the roof of her mysterious abode. Suddenly, she heard a great grating noise at the end of the tunnel, as if someone were trying to open the doors pf the cave. She dropped down immediately, her instinct telling her to blend in, shielding her eyes from the little light that trickled through from such a great distance. She was so, so weak and tired, as if she had slept for thousands of years, only to wake up for a great destiny.

Suddenly there were two men, traipsing down the mass of bodies that she had neglected to notice, their eyes filled with horror and wonder. They thought aloud, wondering what a mass of chlidren were doing here, and why behind a cave? Were they even alive? She wanted to raise her hand, to ask for help and ask for them to help her survive, but she was so, so, befuddled by everything.

 She had questions of her own.
 What was the name she was recalling in the grey darkness? Who had led her here?
Only one thing seemed clear to her foggy mind, the only thing that she knew was as true as the stone floor she lay on, and as sharp as the rocky dagger sky she knew lay above her:
The Pied Piper will save you. 


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Here it is guys! Tell me what you think, and please tell me how I can improve it! I only had 15 minutes to write this, and it's not a full fledged introduction, but I'm trying my best, since I've never written a story before. What should I add to it? Is there anything that's boring/too literary and not enough information? Help me tons!

Good night my little ducklings!
Anoushka